Tik Tok


Ah, vacations. All that time spent enjoying no laundry, no cleaning, no mess. That’s all packed up neatly in suitcases…neatly, that is, until you get home. We’ve been back for nearly a week, and yet my house still looks like spring break exploded across the living room floor.  Add in the Maiden’s ventures as a heart and kidney surgeon for her glow worm doll and her subsequent turn as a paleontologist digging the pieces of my spaghetti drying rack out of the rocky earth that is my couch cushions, and you have an unqualified disaster.

But who says cleaning can’t be fun? I’ll put on some good beats and get to it. To help sweeten the deal, here’s one to get me started…with apologies to Ke$ha. But not too many apologies, because she has a “$” in her name, which the editor in me finds incredibly annoying. Also, I still think my version of the song is better.

Tik Tok (Mommy version)

Wake up in the morning feeling kinda giddy

Toys and clothes are everywhere the house looks sh***y

Short on sleep

Mess knee-deep

Need a plan of attack

Cuz somehow or another

I’m takin’ my life back


I’m talkin’ hair in a ponytail, tail

Sortin’ the backlogged mail, mail

Piles for the garage sale, sale

Break out my spray and start to scrub, scrub

Mold growin’ on the tub, tub

Givin’ this place the rub…


Don’t stop

Grab the mop

Momma’s cleanin’ up this house

Tonight

I’mma fight

Sweep the crap outta sight

Tick tock

On the clock

But I ain’t gonna stop, yo

Oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh

(2x)

 

Can’t see the floor for the toys, but the vacuum’s right here,

Ain’t got my keys, cuz I lost ’em, but they gotta be here

And now the germs they’re all scared, cuz they hear I got bleach

And I’m wipin’ ’em out as far as I can reach


I’m talkin’ bout everythin’ gettin’ washed, washed

Windex gettin’ sloshed, sloshed

Clutter is gonna get tossed, tossed

Now gonna clean til the mess is rid, rid

Or it’s time to pick up my kid, kid

Time to get my kid, kid

(Kid and more mess.)


Don’t stop

Grab the mop

Momma’s cleanin’ up this house

Tonight

I’mma fight

Sweep the crap outta sight

Tick tock

On the clock

But I ain’t gonna stop, yo

Oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh

(2x)


Oh kid, you make this mess

I clean it up

My heart it pounds

Yet I still love you

You got my heart

Your hugs make up

You got my love

Yeah, you got me

You make this mess

I clean it up

My heart it pounds

Yeah I still love you

You got my heart

I got your heart

You got me

 

But the next cleaning session you’re gonna help me


Don’t stop

Grab the mop

Momma’s cleanin’ up this house

Tonight

I’mma fight

Sweep the crap outta sight

Tick tock

On the clock

But I ain’t gonna stop, yo

Oh oh oh oh

Oh oh oh oh

[2x]

[deranged laughter]

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