The Maiden’s bedroom looks like a Sanrio store. Pink walls. Pink curtains. Hello Kitty ballerina wall decals. Hello Kitty comforter. Hello Kitty switchplate cover. Hello Kitty pictures. A Hello Kitty hooded towel on the hook. Most of the Hello Kitty Early Phonics Reading Kit books scattered all over the bed, floor, and entrance to the room. A Build-A-Bear Hello Kitty wearing Hello Kitty pajamas and Hello Kitty panties and sitting on a pink Hello Kitty chair. Various sundry Hello Kitties of differing sizes, materials, and states of cleanliness sitting on shelves or rolling around on the carpet. And, for good measure, two Chococats (another kitty from the HK universe). Thank goodness I lost the eBay auction for the Hello Kitty fan pulls. Her room is already so sweet it gives me cavities.
Can we say obsession? Or stupid parents? Or both?
However, there’s one Sanrio product the Maiden won’t be getting for at least another 17 years: Hello Kitty booze. That’s right: the sweet-faced little kittycat isn’t quite so innocent anymore.
We should have seen it coming months ago.
Hello Kitty first discovered the rich flavors of a good Merlot at a family wedding last summer.
I feel as light as a feather! The lights look so pretty! I feel so happy! Wait–why am I lying down?
Still, I think I’ll look around for another one.
Kitty doesn’t remember this part, but it happened.
She woke up passed out on the lawn, with a horrible headache. So she took two aspirin and three Vitamin C tablets, drank four cups of coffee, called her marketing agent at Sanrio, and got rich.
Then she started investigating new markets.
Hello, her name is Kitty, and she has a problem.
We now keep a lock on the liquor cabinet.