I think, therefore, I am. The Maiden interrupts, therefore she is. At least—
(Hang on a second, honey, Mommy’s trying to write something.)
(Look, you need to wait ’til I’m finished talking with these people, okay? What’s our rule about interrupting?)
(Okay, yes, you can raise your hand, but right now I’m talking with these people. You still have to wait your turn. Thank you. Good girl.)
Where was I? Oh yes, kids’ inability to function without interrupting. It’s like food and drink to them. At least, that’s the way it sometimes seems. The Maiden will be happily playing with her dolls or Lego, but the second I pick up the phone or sit at the computer, she–
(No, you can’t have candy in the middle of the afternoon. Are you crazy?! Put it back RIGHT NOW!)
No matter how happily she’s been playing, the second I focus my attention on something that requires more brainpower than cleaning the kitchen, she is suddenly in desperate need of-–
(Okay, FINE, I’ll get out the play dough, but first you need to put away the game you were playing.)
(We always clean up our activities just like we do in school, remember?)
(Okay, good girl. Let me know when you’ve put the ponies back in their bin and I’ll get out the play dough).
It’s like she feels the focused-on-something vibes emanating from me and needs to stop them, mid-flight. As I was saying, this–
(Wow, finished already?)
Excuse me for one second, that clean-up job seemed a little too quick.
(I’m sorry, this is not cleaned up. Ponies go IN the bin. Not kicked under the bookshelf.)
(You don’t need help; you’re a big girl. Pick up the ponies and put them in the bin.)
(Hey! Watch your talk!)
(All right. Finish cleaning up now.)
(Enough drama! It’s just four ponies! Right now, pick them up and put them in the bin!)
(Get up off the floor, please.)
(Count of three: 1-2-)
(Looks like we need a time out.)
Listen, will you give me a few minutes? I have to deal with some behavior here.
(Ten minutes later…)
Sorry, I can’t remember what I was saying just now. In fact, I never can remember what I was saying just now. My train of thought has been interrupted so many times that it’s long been derailed and the conductor and engineers have gone on strike.
But now that the Maiden’s calmed down and is happily engrossed in her play dough creations, I’m hoping we can finish this conversa–
(Awwww, thank you sweetie, I love you too. Big hug!!!)
Ah yes, finish this conversation.
(A rolling pin? Sure, give me just one minute and I’ll get it down for you.)
One day, I will finish this conversation…but probably not for another fifteen years!
(Yes! I’m coming! Relax!)