The wearing of the green

Yesterday evening, I bid a bittersweet goodbye to a good friend.

It began yesterday afternoon.  I’d sat down on the couch to exhaustedly crash during enjoy those precious five minutes before the Maiden decided she was done with her “nap”.  Feeling decadent, I pulled out a weeks-old-but-yet-unread fashion magazine.   As I flipped through it distractedly (all the while hoping the Maiden would, for the love of all good things, take a nap so I could), I noticed an article showing all the fun new trends for fall.  (At least that’s what I think it was about.  Mid-afternoon Mommy Brain had taken over, so I was mostly looking at the pretty pictures.)

That’s when I saw it.

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Giant images of half-spilled green nail polish drew my eye to the page.  Apparently, screamed the page, green manis and pedis are “the thing”.  Before I’d had time to process this, my eye caught a sidebar.  “Neon polish? SO last season.”

No.  No.  NOOOOOOOOO! Not my neon pink pedicure!  Not my cool, trendy, I’m-pretending-I’m-still-with-it-and-I-so-did-not-turn-thirty-this-year pedicure! I loved that pink polish.  And I was not going to let it go without a fight.

I started with denial.  And excuses.  These people didn’t know what they were talking about.  In my opinion, neon polish was still “in”.  And how can it be from “last season”, if technically we still are in last season?  We haven’t hit the fall equinox yet.  Besides, it was 87 degrees today.  New season, bah humbug. Ha.

From there, it was an easy step to anger.  From where do the fashion gods derive their authority, anyways?  Who gives them the right to dictate what color I put on my hands and feet?  Since when is green even a fall color?  Shouldn’t we be getting orange and brown and yellow instead?

On second thought, that might be considered “so 1995”.  So maybe I was the one who didn’t know what she was talking about.  Maybe green wouldn’t be so bad.  My pink pedi needed a retouching anyways. Something new could be fun.   It might be nice to look down once in a while and see green paint on something it’s actually supposed to be on (as opposed to, say, the table, the pillow, and that spot on the carpet which the couch cleverly hides).

I got excited, and that night, I pulled out my supplies: polish remover, emerald green polish, buffers, and those other lotions, oils, and sticks that I religiously use even though I’m not quite sure what they’re for.  It was time for some Mummy pampering time!  Once again, I was would join the ranks of the “in”, as defined by the bastions of style and fashion!

That is, at least, until the next issue comes out.


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